Part Three


The next day, Max looked carefully about for anyone who might recognize him without his helmet.

Deciding that it was safe, he ventured forth.

Shaking off the large puma that wrapped itself savagely about his shoulders,

he rolled about in the meadow for a while, letting his armpits breathe.

Continuing on his way, he was shocked to see

a ghost approaching from out of a nearby cave.

Quickly grabbing a passing helicopter...

he made good his escape.

Back in Buffalo, he found Lucilla waiting for him.

After an evening spent quietly rubbing her leg,

his good humor had returned.

They spent the next 3 days reading David Copperfield together....

Then he kissed her tenderly goodbye and

went out to check on what was happening.

He decided to take a leisurely ride through the forest

and meet an old friend for lunch.

His friend was reluctant to let Max go home when the luncheon was over

which filled Max with great regret.

After 67 choruses of My Darlin' Clementine, tho, his friend agreed that Max, indeed, should depart.

Catching his horse once again,

Max charted his next course.

He was tired and needed to digest all the tortillas, hotdogs, and eclairs he had eaten, so he went home...not noticing the door opening slowly behind his chair...

and before he could blink, he found himself tied to a post in Syracuse.

Carefully, he measured how far he would need to contort his backbone to free himself.

It took some effort, but at last he was free!

Swimming across the Atlantic and through the Straits of Gibralter, he found himself yet once again

under the arena.

He was quickly chained to a wall while Lucilla's evil twin

caused it to rain, soaking him to the skin.

She slyly offered to get him a dry shirt.

But he knew it had all been a plot to expose his armpits.

He was forced into a showdown with her in the arena, but he tucked his hands in his belt (it being against his General of the Armies of the North code to shoot down females, however much they might deserve it).

He stood there in the street, alone, and thought of his wife and son, now in Elysium.

A great shout rose up from his belly, causing the entire town to flee to the hills.

He sighed in great relief.

Quintus left his petunias long enough to bring Max his backpack and free him from his chains.

Max, however, did retain some amount of suspicion of Quintas from those days back in Germania when Quintas had ordered his execution.

But Max left quietly (though followed by swarms of eager women) and

after a nice nap somewhere in Switzerland,

he found the real Lucilla once again

which made him smile...

Scout's honor!!!