Part Five:


which, of course, he really REALLY did!!! A lot!!!

They had come, they had, by evening light when he and his men had been ashore in Des Moines. They had taken his sails, cut and twisted them, using all their evil origami techniques

to make his magnificent ship look like.. gasp...look like...a DUCK!

He could not even bear to look at the sight of it!!

He had gotten Steve out of the shower to discuss what must be done.

But a terrible storm rose up, the sea tossed, and

had it not been for all the booms and gear and stuff, would surely have sunk.

The storm past, Aubrey looked at the flag the enemy ship was flying.

OH..most dastardly of insignias!!!

Again he closed his eyes, unable to bear the pain the sight inflicted upon his good heart!!

Gaining courage from his great and lengthy title,

he went below decks to plot strategy. As it was Maximus who plotted strategy with walnut shells, Aubrey was left with violin bows for the task.

"See!" he cried, holding the bow like an advancing weapon of vengeance...

"We will confuse them with all our parallel lines!"

"We will approach them backwards...

and overwhelm them with our vastly superior
parallelness!!"

"Then we will impale their entire vessel on our giant boom!!!"

As they boarded the enemy ship after the impaling, Aubrey shot to the right through the yellow fog...

then he shot to the left, much to the approval of Abe Lincoln, who watched carefully from behind him.

The enemy fought back with giant fans...

blowing cold air and gushing seawater at the valiant captain.

Aubrey gasped for air...

but managed to hang on to the side of the ship.

Jumping back aboard

he charged down the enemy deck

causing all the bad guys to jump into the sea, with only a floating name to hold on to.

Satisfied, Aubrey donned his best poofie/puffy shirt,

got into his tanning bed,

and sailed away...in a ship that no longer looked at all like a duck.

The End...